When Pinterest Lies….
| February 3, 2012 | Filled under Momwich Blabs |
What. The. Hell did I get myself into this morning?
You know how bad pinterest is for your self esteem. No? Just me then.
You know those yarn wrapped balloons everyone is doing over there on Pinterest? The ones (and there are several) with websites that say “you just need this, this, this, and a smile to turn out these gorgeous balloon pendants, so easy you’ll want to make 3 every day!”
They list simple ingredients – balloons, thin yarn, newspaper, clothes pin, watered down glue.
Oh, now you know which ones I’m talking about….
Well I saw them and immediately thought “Must make, pin pin pin!” because it meshed so well with my collection of… well I don’t know, random round things that hang in my craft room/ office that I made off pinterest.
Random hangy balls. Because.
And I’ve made a million things from Pinterest. Well, like, 53, so mill-yuns. And nothing turns out too bad. I was in the process of levelling up and earning badges for being the craftiest when I had a brilliant idea today.
I had some time between clients and a couple hours before my husband was due home from his week long business trip and thought, gee, they say it’s so simple and easy I’m going to turn a few of these bad boys out real quick.
I already had the stuff. All I needed now was that smile.
Oh.
Oh please if this is what you think from reading these websites, please let me save you the humiliation, mess, frustration and blow to your crafty inner self.
What you really need is all of those ingredients, and 6 pairs of hands.
Because your mouth doesn’t work for holding the balloon while you wrap glue infested string around it.
It just gets watered down glue on your freshly applied make up. Freshly applied because you haven’t seen your husband in a week and he’s due soon.
And it pisses you off. Because you have a wet sticky balloon stuck to your face, and wet drippy glue rendering your fingers useless.
And the wrapping part? And the glue drip, drip, dripping everywhere?
When they said completely cover your work surface, I think they meant "with glue" and not with paper.
Oh, and if you’re just going to try to prove me wrong and make one of these, might I suggest you CUT THE STRING before you start, because trying to cut string as you go, with gluey hands, gluey scissors and with a sticky wet balloon hanging out of your mouth? It’s sexy, but no. And to add some sparkle, the crap is going to clump up in gigantic knots as you try to beg it around a sloppy wet balloon. Screw you, drippy yarn knots.
Sorry. You know it's really hard to take photos when you're bathed in glue.
I threw the first one away and then took a deep breath, refusing to let this get me down. I won’t wave my white flag – pinterest said it was easy.
But the second one?
Well, lets just say the first one might have been going better.
I wouldn’t make this crap again if you paid me $50 a piece for them.
Save it for the Crafty God’s of Pinterest. Or buy them on Etsy if you need them for your hangy ball collection.
I couldn't even finish it. I'm so ashamed.
Now time to shower.
i’m not laughing AT you, i’m laughing with you. wait–you’re not laughing? okay, then i’m laughing…nowhere near you, but with you in mind. yeah. that.
Angela Hot Off the Press..mini-freakout and miscellany
LOL! I have tried (repeatedly) to hop aboard the Pinterest train….I go back time and again, look at all of the wonderful recipes, crafts, pins, pins and more pins….and every time I get an instant rush of panic and promptly close my browser. I think I may even have a phobia.
Meg O’Keefe Hot Off the Press..Reason to Celebrate
So funny! Pinterest is just so frustrating sometimes, especially the crafts. I don’t have any craftiness WHATSOEVER and sometimes they make it look so easy! Good for you for attempting, though : )
ML@My3littlebirds Hot Off the Press..The Sensitive Child
(giggling) Beautiful
Ha!! Ok, I am craft-challenged, but want desperately to be good at crafts. This made me laugh out loud. I had a similar experience making tie-dyed t-shirts (I soooo should have called Ellen, but that’s another story!). Great piece. You made me want to actually try something I have pinned. Really. –Erin
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms Hot Off the Press..Muzzle Your Inner Momma Bear
Hahah this is why I’m not on pinterest. Also, all the time wastiness of pinning things. I’d prefer to waste time on blogs.
Mayor Gia Hot Off the Press..Valentine’s Day Polar Bear
I’m…I’m so sorry, but…I’m laughing so hard, I can’t stop over here. I…what?…I don’t know what these things are because I’m the TOTAL OPPOSITE of crafty, so I don’t even bother acknowledging pins that have anything to do with creating something. But, by the time I got to that last picture, I…just…what are they SUPPOSED to look like exactly?
Laura@Catharsis Hot Off the Press..My God Doesn’t Hate
I think it was very brave of you to attempt to take pictures while crafting and covered in glue! Now, where’s that smile?
P.S. I love Pinterest
Runnermom-jen Hot Off the Press..If I Die Young…
I give you an “A” for effort and you’re also a little (sadder but) wiser now. Bittersweet
Christine @ Quasi Agitato Hot Off the Press..Friends.
Pintrest scares me. You, however, crack me up! Thanks for the lift
I use Pinterest not because I’m a crafty person (which I’m not) but because I appreciate the craftiness of others and want to live vicariously through their crafting experience. Your experience here resembles mine when I’m trying to glue paper to paper=)
Kathleen Hot Off the Press..11 Questions from YeahWrite
So impressive you tried to whip these up! If it’s any consolation you lost me at watered down glue…not so crafty over here:). I am all up for etsy next time although it was quite fun to read about your adventures!
Mynewfavoriteday Hot Off the Press..Trying something new…say it with me – Zumba!
This is why I don’t make anything from Pinterest. I pin things that I like and can then go out and purchase from Target or Michael’s or even TJ Maxx on occasion. Because I subscribe to the Hopelessly Un-Crafty Person’s Creed: Why make it if you can buy it?
Kristin @ What She Said Hot Off the Press..Do Unto Others
Awesome. I should probably subscribe to that creed myself!
So it was you peeking through my window and watching me *attempt* to pain a canvas for the first time in my LIFE, with only the instructions from Pinterest, 27 paintbrushes, and florescent fuscia paint smeared from one end of the room to the other?
I thought so.
haha. Nothing on Pinterest is easy, and nothing that takes 27 paintbrushes is easy
I love pinterest, LOVE it, but I know there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to do at least 90% of the shit I’ve pinned. Mainly I don’t even try because I know I’ll drastically fail. Kudos to you for trying!
Jackie Hot Off the Press..Big Ol’ Love
Thanks, I will probably never make half of what I pin, but I think about it every time I go to the craft store
Hysterical! Thanks for making my day (trust me – I’m impressed you did not POP your balloons!)
Create With Joy Hot Off the Press..WOYWW – A New Addition
I cant even begin to understand the frustration level you had. I know I’m not crafty, but like you said Pinterest said… it’s easy. I would have tried it. lol There’s lots of things I want to do on Pinterest, but am afraid to. lol Thanks for the giggles. I love reading your posts.
Thanks Christina, I’m glad I could give you some giggles. I wish I would have taken a picture of the finished product but it was just too frustrating!